-I jump into the plane. I read the checklist, start the engine and I taxi to the runway. More checklist, and the last step "briefing", only one problem, there is no one there to brief. Just as weird every time. I take of and realize I am all alone in the air flying an airplane.
I don't know when, or how I will ever feel comfortable flying all by myself? It is so much out of my comfort zone that I can stretch. Of course it is something that I will grow into, kind of like when you buy way to big clothes, but it doesn't make the way there easier. I feel like I have been running this marathon with headwind for months and now I finally see the goal.
In some ways I expect myself to be perfect, in some ways that is also what is expected of me to pass my checkride.
What I want to say is that it is okay to not have your life all put together as if we would live in a fairy tale written by ourselves. Some things are out of our control, and we just have to deal with it. From coming here in the autumn and being this girl with no clue what was going to happen, to sitting here today so close to one of my goals is very inspiring for me. I can tell you all about my mistakes, but right now I am happier over the things I've achieved. I didn't know that it would turn out good when I went away from friends, family, my horses and everything I know about something totally unknown.
I have grown since I came here (not only from my kilograms of oatmeal), I have learned so much and I have pushed myself in ways I didn't think were possible.
Flying solo is amazing, horrible, cool, scary, crazy and funny. It is basically like life. I never know what will happen when I am up there, but neither down here.
We all need to stop putting this high pressure on ourselves that everything needs to be perfect and instead realize that all the mistakes and downs are a part of life.
It can't be perfect in everyone's eyes, because perfection is subjective, and you can't please them all.